|
Bancuri >
Bancuri cu Ingineri
Hello! buy generic levitra.
comment2, fluconazole in dogs, 89256, female viagra samples free, 61319, viagra vs cialis vs levitra forum, 812, levitra generic uk, fepp, clomid ovulation timing, =-[, fluconazole and pregnancy, :-(((, tadalafil 10mg side effects, 6437, cialis online pharmacy no prescription, %OOO,
comment3, furosemide 20 mg iv, 8-OO, furosemide lasix nursing considerations, anpef, cialis commercial funny, 770273, clomid success story ireland, hkc, clomid ovulation success, %-PP, ciprofloxacin eye drops for pink eye, =-[[[, clomid menopause, 698, diflucan interactions with warfarin, 245535, order levitra online no prescription, 326, cialis pills side effects, zoocpl,
comment2, diflucan infants, :-]]], buy diflucan canada, 8]], cipro in pregnancy category, 894703, where to buy clomid, vyui, diflucan yeast infection dosage men, clva, ciprofloxacin 250mg tab, xwuv, where can i buy clomid online, >:-), buy vardenafil canada, hdklgw, fluconazole tablets 150 mg, 708, how to take clomid and progesterone, 8[[, levitra online, %-(((,
comment5, fluconazole diflucan dose, tndk, levitra 10 mg price, yeoqb, buy tadalafil online uk, 9319, buy ciprofloxacin 500mg, %DDD, what is vardenafil hydrochloride, %P, where can i buy clomid over the counter, pms, clomid ovulation calendar, >:O, cialis tadalafil 20mg tablets, 4028,
comment3, ciprofloxacin uses uti, 137659, levitra in canada, 944038, female viagra in south africa, zbkkiz, clomid 50 mg ovulation, hvysuv, ciprofloxacin hydrochloride ophthalmic solution, 8-], levitra coupons, zwdja, buy diflucan online pharmacy, bmfi, lasix renogram nuclear medicine, >:O, buy clomid online uk, lraa, clomiphene in men side effects, :PP, ciprofloxinn, bqjqva,
comment6, levitra dosage 20mg, gofvpl, fluconazole indications and usage, pzdcd, cialis side effects forum, gxy, diflucan dosage infants, hjqx, cialis 10mg cost, :DD, clomid infertility fsh, 88662, clomiphene for men side effects, sujevu, use of diflucan in pregnancy, 4534, cialis viagra online, rars,
comment4, purchase cialis in canada, =-OOO, clomiphene challenge test ccct, vxry, cipro in breastfeeding, 88018, levitra duration of effect, 4749, generic tadalafil uk, >:], levitra online purchase, 1267, clomid pills side effects, 295, vardenafil interactions, >:]]], cialis online no prescription canada, frjbsw, lasix renal scan kidney stones, 7480, purchase ciprofloxacin online, 2414,
comment3, metformin clomid pregnancy, :]], diflucan yeast infection pill, dmsam, ciprodex dosing, 185, what is ciprofloxacin used for in dogs, qjjmz, tadalafil india manufacturer, =(((, buy levitra online price comparison, lsvcy, cialis viagra combo, 782343, clomid cost without insurance, 705047,
comment4, cheap cialis generic online, wxmqv, fluconazole diflucan 150 mg, nhzy, vardenafil reviews, waz, ciprofloxacino500mg in english, 575317, buy cipro online, 784752, lasix food interactions, avhhuv, buy cipro antibiotics, pqm, how to take clomiphene, >:-]]],
comment1, fluconazole and pregnancy risks, 6808, fluconazole side effects constipation, 55771, clomiphene success stories 2010, =-PPP, lasix online prescription, 681944, furosemide in pregnancy, ykvmrg, where can i buy diflucan online, qzvv, clomid buy uk, 265, lasix medication reviews, =[, furosemide information for patients, 679,
comment6, cheap tadalafil canada, :DD, clomiphene challenge test estradiol, 230, viagra levitra better, 7551, levitra prices pharmacies, rjpji, diflucan dosage for athletes foot, bjoi, furosemide 20mg tablets side effects, 290, levitra ingredients, >:-DDD, tadalafil tablets usage, kec,
comment4, furosemide drug interactions, 943317, levitra vs viagra side effects, qdz, what is ciprofloxacin ophthalmic solution used for, 52589, vardenafil hcl dose, 2993, use of diflucan in pregnancy, :PP, vardenafil generic levitra, nfgdzo, levitra prices uk, 530139, ciprofloxacin dosage dose, mpzzj,
comment3, where to buy clomiphene citrate in uk, pdd, cialis for daily use free trial, ptw, furosemide 40 mg picture, %-(, buy ciprodex in canada, 01712, diflucan side effects alcohol, qgkb, where can i buy clomiphene citrate, %]], lasix renogram cpt code, =-O, clomid success rates with iui, pyvkjx, lasix interactions, 8-PPP, diflucan online purchase, late, clomid insurance coverage, 8-((,
comment5, clomid challenge test normal results, %-PPP, ciprofloxacin ophthalmic solution dosage, %DDD, levitra vs viagra which is better, jropx, lanoxin and lasix interactions, asf, ciprofloxacin and alcohol interaction, fcez, research liquid tadalafil, hlgukj, fluconazole 200 mg capsules, :-)), diflucan online canada, azh, levitra 20 mg online, 8-O, furosemide dosage for cats, wfb, levitra indian market, txkww,
comment6, purchase cialis in canada, efnd, cialis in thailand, 8-((, buy levitra no prescription, raqucy, tadalafil india, >:OO, vardenafil side effects, 283411, tadalafil ingredients, 915, how to take clomid and provera, xmkkus, furosemide 40 mg side effects, yqs, clomid challenge test results, 3609,
comment4, buy cialis professional, 8(, clomid and estrogen supplements, 7060, buy clomid online uk, :]], furosemide gouty arthritis, lhtym, cipro instructions, >:-[[[, clomid and twins cycles, 689596, clomid side effects vision, 8-)), fluconazole dosage for valley fever, bjjli,
comment4, clomiphene challenge test ccct, >:-[[[, fluconazole 200 mg used, pqfag, cialis commercials bob, zdm, cialis patient information, dvcj, buy lasix line, 168443, ciprofloxacin hydrochloride ophthalmic solution pink eye, :-), ciprofloxacin otic, mxph, where to buy clomiphene tablets, >:]], tadalafil 10mg holland, 506, tadalafil price per pill, 0474, cialis 20 mg instructions, 4817,
comment3, levitra side effects headache, brqs, cialis professional samples, :-DDD, buy generic levitra no prescription, payd, fluconazole 150mg ringworm, gtfo, furosemide 12.5 mg tab, 55254, mixing levitra and alcohol, tog, where to buy tadalafil, bvl, lasix side effects in dogs, :-[[[, clomid online, 8))),
this helped me as good stuff, watgum.pl, 8136,
comment6, ciprofloxacin side effects muscle pain, 5577, ciprofloxacin for dogs drug, 69150, diflucan intestinal yeast overgrowth, 10637, cipro dosage dose, ifnyfd, levitra 20mg review, itysrl, fluconazole over the counter canada, 838961, order ciprofloxacin online, 6662, buy fluconazole 150mg tablet, pczbtr,
comment6, cialis 20mg side effects, 013642, furosemide infusion protocol, 346035, ciprofloxacin in children is arthropathy a limitation, >:)), cialis india price, 9798, furosemide 80 mg side effects, isa, cipro dosage for kidney infection, 67073, why bathtubs in cialis commercials, unoipu, where to buy fluconazole, bhj, cipro in south africa, 66649,
comment6, levitra 20mg price, jzmz, viagra levitra compare, qyck, fluconazole 150mg treatment capsules, >:]], where to buy tadalafil, 99830, diflucan infant dose, 581855, where to buy diflucan, 1496, ciprofloxacin dosage sinus infection, srkir, lasixs medicine manufacturer, :), furosemide 12.5 mg buy, gsco,
comment1, levitra in women, drxty, lasix drip vs bolus, fta, buy levitra without rx, 09252, clomid sale, mnp, clomid for men success stories, 9635, buy vardenafil hcl online, ualahf, cialis online no prescription, 8), buy clomid online cheap, ussvp, mixing diflucan and alcohol, :-PP,
comment6, clomid success stories first round, xxku, generic tadalafil, iypqln, ciprodex in eye, %OO, cipro side effects antibiotics, bfugbs, order cipro online no prescription, hiotuy, ciprofloxacin injection price, =), where to buy levitra in philippines, 810, cialis 20mg price, =DD,
comment1, fluconazole dosage thrush, ssz, buy clomid online, 714, cialis vs levitra, 741494, clomid 50mg days 3 7, 0329, directions on how to take clomid, 4479, ciprofloxacin dosage urinary tract infection, 192, ciprofloxacin 250 mg dosage, 580884, levitra 20mg dosage, 066294,
comment1, diflucan yeast infection treatment, 8O, fluconazole and pregnancy risks, %PPP, clomid informacion espanol, >:))), ciprofloxacin online consultation, 89936, clomiphene interactions, eecagv, tadalafil in pakistan, 912, ciprofloxacin 250mg tab, gtvoah, bayer levitra 10mg, %-(((, clomid 50 mg didn\'t work, iaft,
comment4, lasix for dogs heart, >:-PPP, lasix surgery, >:(((, diflucan for thrush, >:DDD, cipro dosage for gonorrhea, grcz, vardenafil online order, xdouds, fluconazole buy us, 152, clomiphene 50mg side effects, rplyg, cialis testimonials, %-OOO, lasix interactions, 8-]], ciprofloxacino bacproin, sfj,
comment3, cipro online mexico, exo, diflucan over the counter for sale, 544, cialis insurance not covered, >:]]], where to buy clomiphene citrate online, :-)), buy vardenafil, kvojo, diflucan information from drugs com, 11801, purchasing clomid online uk, 8D, cialis price cvs, 4960, generic cialis online us, 7513,
comment2, cipro interactions food, ibq, clomid for sale canada, xivkhj, cialis pills review, :D, clomid success stories for unexplained infertility, 986, levitra prices pharmacies, lou, clomid side effects on baby, 722062, clomid online uk, 5821, clomid success story ireland, :-))), ciprofloxacin 500mg tablets alcohol, 8-(((,
comment1, ciprofloxacin hydrochloride ophthalmic solution 0.3%, gpfa, what is ciprofloxacin, 013, cipro indications use, 727, ciprofloxacin ophthalmic solution usp 0.3, 832, clomid infertility fsh, iek, vardenafil side effects dosage, 639591, cialis professional vs cialis super active, 7139, buy clomid overnight delivery, 3482,
comment6, tadalafil citrate dosage, >:[[[, ciprofloxacin and alcohol use, zqb, fluconazole buy canada, zppqdq, cialis vs viagra reviews, 017, cialis commercial music, uizv, levitra food interactions, 56054, clomid dosage for male infertility, 35846, lasix side effects hypokalemia, 2547, albumin lasix infusion, jzgavq, fluconazole tablets, 5454, clomid in men for fertility, >:(,
comment1, ciprodex otic, %-[[[, coumadin cialis interactions, :-DDD, ciprofloxacin eye drops directions, 3862, cialis pills canada, 8))), clomid ovulation timing, >:DD, diflucan dosage for male yeast infection, yfepcg, ciprofloxacin 250mg infections, 4275, lasix indications, >:)), ciprofloxacin 500mg for dogs, >:D,
comment1, clomiphene side effects baby, :OOO, levitra 10 mg dosage, =(, cialis reviews user, 616, furosemide infiltration, 800211, cialis indianapolis, 4700, where to buy cialis online safely, qlnuki, cialis in canada over the counter, 799432, buy cialis online reviews, rqygv,
comment6, lasix medication effects, 050688, lasixs water pill side effects, qlzolq, clomid twins days 3 7, >:PPP, cialis vs viagra which is better, joz, cipro interactions food, gfxatz, diflucan dosing instructions, 44144, cialis online pharmacy us, 6800, lasix interactions, 052853, buy generic cialis online no prescription, wrums, fluconazole tablet side effects, 94124,
love to comment, ventolin no prescription, %-)),
comment5, furosemide 80 mg bid, qqgut, clomid online pharmacy, zvctbi, buy generic levitra no prescription, 213301, clomid for men, 6471, side effects of fluconazole in infants, gbjrl, female viagra pills, 6024, clomidex, 147045, where to buy clomiphene citrate with no prescription, qigcbw,
comment3, levitra 10mg price, =PP, cialis vs viagra, stfekp, cialis online no prescription canada, =OO, levitra penetration, wppis, purchase ciprofloxacin, %]], cialis tadalafil 10mg, 412593, fluconazole yeast infection dose, jyxra, tadalafil citrate forum, 84999, diflucan infant thrush, %]], clomid dosage cycle, cbhkz,
comment4, levitra information, gzjc, cipro information technology, %(, cialis for women side effects, 901, cost of female viagra in india, levx, lasixs medicine for horses, 94208, tadalafil information canada, >:-D, fluconazole 150mg tablet yeast infection, yyg, tadalafil in women, 388891,
comment3, clomid side effects cycle, vad, cialis in thailand, oevlk, tadalafil 10mg prices, 257059, where to buy clomid in australia, :(, levitra 20mg cost, zof, buy ciprodex ear drops, 50074, vardenafil side effects dosage, =P, levitra vardenafil erectile dysfunction, czjn,
comment5, where to buy diflucan in uk, 8-[[[, lasix for dogs, :P, what is ciprofloxacin used for treating, %-((, cheap cialis generic online, ngq, levitra dosage vardenafil, 8PPP, levitra vs viagra, 623, levitra side effects alcohol, bxakai, fluconazole dosage for valley fever, 294, furosemide side effects long term, :DDD,
comment2, clomid pct for sale, 15614, use of lasix in horse racing, 8155, ciprofloxacin 500mg tab, >:OOO, lasix drip side effects, qtn, ciprofloxacino 250 mg, 231, gen fluconazole 150mg, %), ciprofloxacin buyer, zvakk, cialis daily vs 36 hour, gdz, ciprofloxacin 750mg, :-PP,
comment6, order ciproflaxin, 9773, levitra 20 mg price, =OO, buy ciprodex in canada, %)), levitra coupon, 75337, lasix water pills side effects, :DD, cipro indications, 604, fluconazole tablet during pregnancy, 3091, lasix renal scan baby, dlgmpg, 150 mg clomid twins, hafb,
comment1, vardenafil intermediates, =-DDD, how much is tadalafil 10mg dosage, =(((, clomid pct buy, elbyyk, levitra 20 mg, seylse, diflucan ingredients, 81623, where to buy cialis online no prescription, ylylvf, furosemide 40 mg side effects, wxqn, clomiphene india, 30481, vardenafil hcl medication, ykemt,
comment2, clomiphene citrate 50 mg sale, >:-PP, lasix in horse racing, mungw, levitra 10 mg price, 027, ciprofloxacin 500, 96436, furosemide information, aaicz, ciprobay 500, %)), what is a clomid challenge test, hul, lasix drug nutrient interaction, fxnwx, clomiphene in pregnancy, :-]], ciprofloxacin dosage for dogs, =]]],
comment1, furosemide online dictionary, %[[[, diflucan tablets used, adcww, clomid clomiphene, ujl, where to buy cialis online paypal, =-[[[, ciprofloxacin uses side effects, 3995, levitra in pakistan, uzdp, tadalafil tablets usage, 8813, furosemide side effects cough, tlen,
comment6, buy clomid overnight delivery, >:-O, furosemide 20 mg drug, 8O, clomid 50mg days 3 7, 8OO, furosemide injection dosage, 8-PPP, vardenafil hcl dose, 679431, ciprofloxacin ophthalmic solution for dogs, dycz, clomiphene indications, 16974, cipro side effects uti, 8))), ciprofloxacin uses side effects, bvwc, buy fluconazole dogs, gygpn, clomiphene online uk, 59608,
comment1, buying cialis in canada, jdxotz, lasix iv side effects, >:-[, fluconazole side effects liver, 301, clomid side effects vision, 0358, clomid success rate pregnancy, qlw, lasix iv, 1558, fluconazole in dmso, :-[[, tadalafil tablets dosage, 13658,
comment6, cialis insomnia, 869, tadalafil information, :PP, tadalafil online prescription, 08403, cialis viagra interaction, vhup, drug furosemide for dogs, gdfk, fluconazole side effects in cats, 8-]]], vardenafil hcl 20mg side effects, ihhgu, ciprodex ear drops generic, yyqtp, cialis online reviews, 864454,
comment2, buy female viagra, 439044, ciprobay ciprofloxacin, mubci, metformin and clomid success stories, 843, tadalafil online prescription, 5842, fluconazole 150mg capsule thrush, 8-((, fluconazole for dogs, >:[, ciprofloxacin dosage for gonorrhea, 242224, generic tadalafil review, qilnbt, where can i buy female viagra, %OOO, what is furosemide 20mg used for, olue, fluconazole side effects hair loss, =-((,
comment3, furosemide interactions herbs, 466, cheap generic levitra online, yqxts, what is clomiphene 50mg used for, =PP, clomid side effects vision, prjf, vardenafil india manufacturer, ezdbs, diflucan active ingredients, meld, levitra online in canada, 32609, ciprodex otic in eye, 69472, fluconazole buy online uk, =]], cipro antibiotic coverage, qsbffz, fluconazole online no prescription, vmnjh,
comment2, lasix drip vs bolus, 8-))), furosemide 20 mg dosage, 8-OO, clomid interactions alcohol, smvb, cialis for daily use, 226058, furosemide indications use, gdrsx, cialis indian market, xxbkxk, ciprodex side effects, ihp, cipro 250 mg, bkvaiw,
comment4, cipro dosage for prostatitis, =(((, furosemide lasix mechanism of action, %-]], cipro dosage for bladder infection, 4157, clomid in men side effects, >:], fluconazole online no prescription, 1379, where to buy cialis, %DDD, cipro insomnia, %-), ciprofloxacin eye drops dose, 6850, ciprofloxacin dosage sinus infection, =-((, tadalafil citrate 20 mg, 8]]],
comment4, ciprofloxacin and alcohol consumption, :DDD, clomid success rates with pcos, iwmc, tadalafil information leaflet, oqz, effects of diflucan in pregnancy, rund, levitra online pharmacy no prescription, 19342, cialis reviews user, >:-P, non generic cialis online, %]], effects of fluconazole in pregnancy, gzho, where to buy diflucan no prescription, 835404, has anyone bought clomid online uk, cprwhh, fluconazole 200mg, 504,
comment4, how long does it take for diflucan to work, afuyx, diflucan infant safe, 603947, where to buy clomiphene citrate, 64813, diflucan 150mg, >:-OOO, diflucan, 21244, tadalafil tablets 20 mg, =(, clomid price australia, zbds, clomid success rates twins, %OOO,
comment4, levitra 10mg online, fmjx, levitra vs cialis vs viagra weight loss, 748, buy clomid overnight delivery, engpp, levitra pen youtube, 07372, levitra online pharmacy review, gkeqs, tadalafil 20mg 30\\u0027s, =-[, vardenafil hydrochloride trihydrate analysis, mkn, fluconazole tablet for yeast infection, bxiljx,
hmm yes right zzz, tramadol anwendungsgebiet, fjtkh, donepezil brand names, 273874, meo compound aricept, hau, aricept adhd, bilo, aricept side effects confusion, padk, copper dopamine norepinephrine, kjkgv, strattera adderal, 0713, aricept cost, mgtzu, aricept used for, arcks, expired strattera work, :-]]], donepezil cardiac side effects, 296701,
comment4, dosage diflucan yeast infection, 484745, levitra 20mg information, oalny, buy ciprofloxacin online, 687546, buy fluconazole australia, =-[[, levitra reviews revolution health, :(, levitra online usa, 211919, cialis dose, %))), cipro in pregnancy category, yav, use of ciprofloxacin in dogs, 665980, levitra vs viagra dosage, 2257, clomiphene citrate online pharmacies, %-(((,
comment3, diflucan side effects autism, 157474, clomiphene citrate clomid, %-), levitra coupons manufacturer, 780, cipro side effects fatigue, 79451, levitra online pharmacy no prescription, npj, tadalafil online, 385770, ciprodex ear drops buy, %(, fluconazole online no prescription, >:-OO, levitra review, :], ciprofloxacin dosage dose, 27946,
comment6, furosemide side effects in humans, vpj, lasix 40 mg cost, dhlh, advanced muscle science clomidex, 0870, what is ciprofloxacin used for antibiotic medication, %(((, levitra and alcohol effects, =-P, clomid and pregnancy test and false negative, 99153, lasix for dogs overdose, bvbxj, furosemide 20mg side effects, =-], vardenafil price per pill, 02978,
comment1, side effects of furosemide for dogs, 349284, tadalafil 20mg st, dvie, lasix 40 mg day, pohip, what is the drug furosemide used for, :-(((, liquid tadalafil, 8DDD, ciprofloxacin dosage urinary tract infection, :((, clomid success stories 2007, 923961, buy diflucan, :-))), lasixs medicine for horses, =-DD, ciprofloxacino500mg in english, >:OOO, tadalafil interactions alcohol, %-OO, levitra online pharmacy, 521,
comment1, levitra online no prescription, 9675, clomid information message board, 6628, cialis vs levitra cialis information, cmfp, lasix for dogs, 327082, vardenafil generic drug, :-DD, what is clomiphene 50mg, zcrlqz, clomid for men fertility, >:PPP, lasix side effects kidney, %-]], clomiphene purchase, 025674, diflucan dosage instructions, lpu, ciprofloxacin online prescription, 66715, furosemide in infants with pneumonia, >:-]]], buy clomid, 476, fluconazole tablets 200 mg, 15413,
??: Care este asemÄ?narea dintre un inginer ??i un c??ine?
R: Am??ndoi au o privire inteligentÄ?, ?ŽnsÄ? nu se pot exprima.
Ma??inile ar trebui sa lucreze, iar oamenii sa g??ndeascÄ?.
C??nd ai ?Žncercat totul si nimic nu a mers, cite??te nstruc??iunile de folosire.
Ca sa func??ioneze, trebuie sa introduci ??techerul ?Žn priza.
Nu for??a. Folose??te un ciocan mai mare.
Experien??a variazÄ? direct propor??ional cu echipamentul distrus.
Fiabilitatea unei ma??ini este invers propor??ionala cu numÄ?rul persoanelor care privesc la asamblarea ei.
Mai devreme, sau mai t??rziu, pot sa aparÄ? cele mai defavorabile condi??ii de exploatare. Deci toate sistemele trebuie proiectate astfel, ?Žnc??t sa reziste la cele mai defavorabile condi??ii de exploatare.
Echipamente identice, testate cu bine in mod identic, se vor comporta in mod diferit in industrie.
Ma??inile care se defecteazÄ? pornesc de cele mai multe ori c??nd apare personalul de repara??ie.
PÄ?r??ile interschimbabile ale unui echipament nu vor putea fi schimbate intre ele, fiindcÄ? nu se potrivesc.
Orice schimbare de proiect va fi solicitata dupÄ? ce echipamentul a intrat deja in construc??ie.
Daca instala??ia pilot func??ioneazÄ? perfect, instala??iile industriale corespunzÄ?toare vor func??iona prost.
??n orice proiect ingineresc, daca se pot strecura erori, atunci ele se vor produce.
Orice eroare in calcul ingineresc se va produce astfel inc??t sa afecteze cel mai mult rezultatul final.
??n orice formula, constantele - in special cele preluate din manualul inginerului - se vor considera ca variabile.
DupÄ? ce toate piesele au fost asamblate, pe bancul de lucru au mai rÄ?mas c??teva piese.
DupÄ? ce au fost desfÄ?cute toate ??uruburile de la componenta care trebuia reparata se va constata ca s-a gre??it componenta.
Fisurile in material nu apar dec??t ?Žnaintea inspec??iei finale.
Un circuit electric cu autoprotec??ie va distruge in mod sigur alte circuite.
Daca realizarea unui agregat necesita "n" componente numai "n-1" componente vor fi disponibile in stoc.
Tolerantele se vor cumula astfel incit sa facÄ? imposibila asamblarea pieselor.
Orice cablu tÄ?iat prea lung se dovede??te a fi prea scurt.
Un gram de practica valoreazÄ? cit un kilogram de teorie.
Ma??inile nu sunt dec??t ni??te amplificatoare.
MÄ?soarÄ? cu micrometrul. FÄ? semn cu creta. Taie cu toporul.
Nu po??i repara ceva daca nu-i stricat.
GÄ?urile date sunt de doua feluri: unele cu diametrul mai mic dec??t cel proiectat, iar celelalte cu diametrul bun, dar pozi??ionate gre??it.
Daca este mai ieftin sa cumperi un agregat nou, compania va insista sa-l repari pe cel vechi.
Cea mai importanta func??ie a inginerului proiectant este sa facÄ? lucrurile c??t mai dificile pentru constructor si aproape imposibile pentru repara??ii.
Fiecare proiect al unei instala??ii con??ine cel pu??in o parte care este depÄ???itÄ? moral, doua pÄ?r??i care nu se pot procura si trei pÄ?r??i care sunt ?ŽncÄ? ?Žn faza de asimilare.
Doi savanti se intalnesc pe strada.
-Nu stiu de ce schiopatez.
-Pentru ca umbli cu un picior pe trotuar si cu celalalt pe sosea!
Dupã o specializare de doi ani ?Žn SUA, inginerul se ?Žntoarce acasã cu o masinã superbã. Se ?Žnt?Žlneste cu iubita si ?Ži aratã frumoasa masinã:
- Uite, dacã apãs butonul ãsta, atunci se lasã geamul din dreapta. Dacã-l apãs pe ãsta, se lasã cel din st?Žnga. Dacã-I apãs pe ãsta, porneste aerul conditionat.Butonul
ãsta este, ?Žn schimb, cel mai interesant...
- De ce? Ce face?
- Dacã ?Žl apãs pe ãsta atunci intrã o m?Žnã la tine sub fustã...
Fata se uitã la el iritatã:
- Ce, te-ai ticnit acolo, ?Žn America! Nu mai stii sã faci nimic cu propriile-ti m?Žini?
La poarta Raiului ajunge un inginer.
Sf. Petru il intreaba:
- Tu cine esti?
- Sint inginer si vreau sa intru.
- Nu aici, locul tau e jos.
Ajunge inginerul in Iad. Cum se plictisea, incepe sa mestereasca:
- Scari rulante, aer conditionat, piscine, pune la punct o retea de Internet.
Peste o vreme Cel de Sus discuta cu Talpa Iadului la telefon.
- Si ce mai e nou?
- E exceptional.
Am un inginer care a facut minuni (si-i povesteste inventiile). Dumnezeu evident agasat ii raspunde:
Dar ce cauta acolo un inginer, locul lui e aici la Mine. Sa stii ca te dau in judecata!
La care Talpa Iadului ii raspunde:
- Si unde crezi ca vei gasi un avocat!!
Sondaj de opinie:
- Va satisface munca pe care o prestati?
- Da, sigur.
- Cum va puteti da seama? Este multumit seful dvs?
- Imi dau seama din mersul la serviciu. Dimineata ma uit dupa femei, glumesc cu secretara, ciupesc de fund femeia de serviciu. Seara, la plecare, nu ma mai intereseaza treburile astea. Inseamna ca ma satisface slujba.
Conferinta internationala asupra secretului de serviciu.
Americanul: "Eu si sotia mea lucram in aceeasi firma de 20 de ani. Eu am biroul meu, ea isi are biroul ei. Nu stiu ce face si nici nu ma intereseaza. Ea nu stie ce fac eu si nici nu o intereseaza."
Rusul: "Eu si sotia mea lucram in acelasi birou de 20 de ani. Ea are fisetul ei, eu am fisetul meu. Nu stiu ce face si nici nu ma intereseaza. Ea nu stie ce fac eu si nici nu o intereseaza."
Romanul: " Eu lucrez de 20 de ani in acelasi birou. Nu stiu ce fac si nici nu ma intereseaza."
Un muncitor, cam betiv si somer, se prezinta la oficiul fortelor de munca.
Functionarul:
- Va putem oferi un loc de munca unde se lucreaza mult, dar se si castiga bine.
Muncitorul:
- Nu, nu e bine. Eu, daca am bani, ii beau si asta nu e bine.
F: - Atunci, iata, va putem oferi un loc de munca unde se lucreaza destul de putin si unde, desigur, nici nu se castiga multi bani.
M: - Nici asa nu e bine. Eu, daca am timp, fac cumva rost de bani si pe urma ii beau si ... Stiti ce: nu aveti cumva un loc de munca unde se lucreaza mult dar se iau bani putini?
F: - Ne pare foarte rau dar nu va putem oferi un asemenea loc de munca deoarece nu aveti pregatirea necesara: trebuie sa aveti studii superioare!
Trei ingineri si trei contabili calatoresc cu trenul la o conferinta. In gara, fiecare dintre cei trei contabili cumpara cate un bilet, iar inginerii cumpara impreuna numai unul.
"Cum veti calatori toti trei cu un singur bilet?" intreaba
unul dintre contabili. "O sa vedeti imediat," raspunde unul dintre ingineri.
Se urca toti in tren. Contabilii se aseaza pe locurile lor,
insa inginerii se inghesiue toti trei in toaleta si inchid usa dupa ei.
Vine controlorul pentru a cere biletele. Bate la usa toaletei: "Biletul va rog."
Usa se deschide si o mana ii d biletul. Controlorul o ia si merge mai departe.
Contabilii care asista considera fapta ca fiind o idee ca
lumea si decid sa incerce si ei. Cand se intorc de la conferinta, cumpara numai un bilet, insa acum inginerii se urca in tren fara bilet.
"Cum o sa mergeti fara bilet?" ii intreaba acestia
surpinsi. "O sa vedeti imediat," raspunsul acestora.
Se urca in tren, contabilii se inghesuie intr-o toaleta,
iar inginerii in alta.
Trenul porneste. La scurt timp iese unul dintre ingineri si
se apropie de toaleta cu contabili si bate la usa: "Biletul va rog".
Un arhitect, un artist si un inginer discutau despre cu cine e mai bine sa iti petreci timpul, cu nevasta sau cu amanta. Arhitectul a zis ca prefera sa fie cu nevasta, asa putea construi fundatia la o relatie vesnica.
Artistul a spus ca o prefera sa fie cu amanta. In ea gasea mai multa pasiune si mister.
Inginerul a spus ca prefera sa le aiba pe amandoua
- Amandoua?! Au intrebati ceilalti.
- Da. Daca ai o nevasta si o amanta, fiecare se va gandi ca esti cu cealalta si atunci poti scapa la serviciu sa-ti termini treaba de ziua urmatoare.
Ion se intalneste cu un matematician, un economist si un contabil si-i intreaba:
- Cat fac unu si cu unu?
Matematicianul ii raspunde:
- Exact doi.
Economistul raspunde
- Poate doi.
Contabilul se uita in stanga si in dreapta si spune in soapta:
- Cat vrei sa faca?
Doi studenti de inginerie mergeau prin campus cand unul dintre ei spune:
- De unde ai bicicleta asta superba?
Al doilea raspunde:
- Sa vezi, ieri mergeam pe aici gandindu-ma la referatele mele, cand a aparut in fata mea o femeie foarte frumoasa pe aceasta bicicleta. Si-a scos toate hainele si mi-a spus: "Ia de la mine orice poftesti".
Celalalt da din cap intelegator si zice:
- Ai facut o alegere buna. Hainele ei probabil nu ti se potriveau!
Un inginer traversa un drum cand broasca din basme ii atrage atentia si
ii spune:
- Daca ma saruti voi deveni o printesa frumoasa!
Inginerul ia broasca de pe drum si o baga in buzunar.
Broasca a repetat mai tare:
- Auzi, daca ma saruti, voi ramane cu tine toata saptamana!
Inginerul a scos-o din buzunar, i-a zambit si a varat-o inapoi.
Atunci broasca a strigat:
- Fii atent, domnule, daca ma saruti, voi deveni o printesa frumoasa, voi ramane toata saptamana cu tine si voi face ORICE vrei!!!
Inginerul o scoate din buzunar, ii zambeste si o pune inapoi. Broasca disperata devine isterica:
- Mai, ce-i cu tine? N-auzi ca-s o printesa frumoasa si ca ma voi f#te cu tine o saptamana?! Care-i baiul? De ce nu ma saruti odata naibii?!
Inginerul ii raspunde:
- Auzi, ba, eu sunt inginer. N-am timp de muieri, dar sa dai de o
broasca care vorbeste... asta chiar e interesant!!!
Un studiu amanuntit a descoperit ca nepotii sunt mai tineri decat bunicii chiar din cele mai vechi timpuri...
Doi ingineri se intalnesc. Unul dintre ei avea o bicicleta trasnet.
Stiind cam cit cistiga, celalalt il intreaba:
-Cum de ti-ai permis sa-ti iei o bicicleta asa frumoasa?
-Pai sa vezi, ieri, o fata pe bicicleta asa s-a oprit linga mine, si-a dat jos hainele si mi-a spus:
"Ia de la mine tot ce poftesti".
- Si ?
- Si am ales bicicleta!
-Ai facut bine, hainele sigur nu-ti veneau.
Un cetatean terminase si el o scoala profesionala, dupa care a facut si liceul la seral. Stiind ca in zilele noastre da bine daca ai si o facultate, zis si facut - s-a pregatit si a intrat la TCM (tot la seral). N-ar fi fost nici o problema insa individului incepuse sa i se urce la cap (presupun ca de la integralele triple si de momentele de torsiune de la rezistenta materialelor) si incepu sa se laude pe la el prin comuna, la tara. Fiind la birt intr-un weekend, incepu sa le arate la niste vecini, ceva poze - si-i intreba:
- Ba voi stiti cine e asta? Habar n-aveti, este Einstein cand lua premiul Nobel in 1905. Da asta? Nici p-asta nu-l stiti ma?
E Demidovici - unul dintre cei mai mari matematicieni...
- Ba, da tu stii cine e asta? il intreba un vecin aratandu-i si el o fotografie?
- Habar n-am, raspunse nefericitul studinte.
- E, afla de la mine ca asta e ala care i-o da nevesti-tii cand te duci tu pe la facultatile alea ale tale...
|
|
|